Showing Up For Myself In Stillness
In the natural rhythm of the seasons, Winter beckons us to embrace stillness. It provides a space for reflection and repose, a pause before the surge of spring, where we can evaluate the past year and refine our course ahead.
This season offers an opportunity to metaphorically set fire to the overgrowth of our lives and start afresh. Through introspection, I discovered the value of aligning with my inherent connection to the earth's cycles, rather than merely functioning for the sake of capitalism. Embracing stillness doesn't equate to stagnation or a lack of progress. Instead, it allows for the deliberate reconfiguration of one's life, a chance to realign with personal intentions.
I see winter as a time to become intentional about how we spend our hours. Daylight is precious, and I wanted to spend time cultivating new habits that would carry me forward into spring. My self-care and creative endeavors had been neglected amidst the demands of daily life. Reflecting on this imbalance revealed that I couldn't fully embody my true self without prioritizing these essential aspects.
I've long rejected the notion of being a mere commodity, yet every moment felt saturated with obligations. Recognizing the unsustainability of this pace, I heeded the call of the universe to embrace stillness willingly. For the first time in my adult life, I consciously integrated rest and creativity into my existence, rather than waiting until exhaustion forced stillness upon me.
I started with these questions:
How do I want to feel?
What do I want to do?
What changes are necessary to create this alignment?
What does this look like in practice? Stay with me…
I wanted to feel connected to deeper parts of myself by re-establishing myself as a writer. I have to dedicate time to this if I want to write. I had to restructure my day to day commitments if I wanted this to happen. I had to hold myself accountable- I had to SHOW UP for myself.
3 Months after this very intentional shift, I have some tangible things to show for it. I was not looking for things to be easy or perfect, but I asked myself to show up, and I DID.
Attuning to my body
I am going to bed earlier. I love getting in bed early and I will not be ashamed
I am eating well. I’m not even saying “healthier,” I’m just saying better.
I am moving my body A LOT. I have been strength training 4 days a week, stretching foam rolling, doing cardio, etc. Sometimes when I cannot commit to a workout, I just put on my music and dance while I clean. You should see how I move to Cheryl Lynn’s Encore!
I got a massage for the first time in 6 years. As an energy worker, I know all the ways the body stores energy, and I was so grateful to the gifted woman who took such care with me. I can’t wait to treat myself to this again!
Me, shamelessly cuddling my cat in bed at 8pm.
I reinforced a few boundaries.
This one was hard. It wasn’t as clean of a cut as I’d like, and I was definitely triggered, but in the end, I did what was best for my well being. It really helped me to remember that If I want certain narratives to be different, I have to re-write them myself. I recently said on social media that I wanted things to be different so I have to move differently.
I committed to being in my creative practice at least once a week.
I created this website, which I absolutely love. I took my time with this. I sought out my own creative process and not only did I it result in something beautiful, but I am actively writing every week.
I still have plenty of time to refine things as we transition into the warmer months. However, I take great pride in how I'm currently prioritizing my time. By actively choosing to participate in restructuring my life, I feel a significant reduction in resentment and helplessness. This has been a major key to embracing the word radical as a part of my healing process for the first part of the year. I feel my foundation strengthening and I can’t wait to see what comes of this consistent self care!
